This morning is definitely different from all other mornings I’ve had in the past. I was awaken by the absence of my Mama. I so much crave to hear her voice and I almost wished I could talk to her in her crypt. I want to talk to her so badly. I miss her so dearly.
Everyday had always been one thought about her or the other, but this morning, I really want to talk to her. So, I picked up my pen and paper – I’m writing her.
“Hello, Mama.” I talked to her in my fantasies.
“Hello.” She replied from my head.
“How are you?” We chorused at the same time.
I smiled and said, “I’m fine, Mama.” She replied the same almost at the same time.
Silence filled the room for some minutes thinking about how much I had really missed her. I shook my head and decided to continue the fantasized dream.
“How’s home Mama?” She had always been the home keeper. The peace, love, sweetness, grace and all good tidings of the house had always been about her. And her alone.
She was quiet.
The air blown by the ceiling fan started blowing cold. I stood to put it off, while I wondered why she didn’t respond to my last question. With face expressing grieve I continued the invincible conversation.
“Have you eaten, Mama?”
I knew she wasn’t going to answer me. I felt so sad. I want to be stop the useless conversation, but I couldn’t. I’ve missed too much to stop now. I asked the next series of questions with tears-filled eyeballs.
“Where are you, Mama?”
“When am I seeing you again?”
“I hope you still look as beautiful as ever.”
“Please talk to me. Please!”
“Please I need to talk to you. Please!”
“Just say something, Mama.” I had started crying already. “Please say something!” I cried out of my dream.
She was the real source of my life; she’d always been. I had thought I would die without her. She was too dear to me; too beautiful a mother. Her scent passed through the smell-receptors of my nose, and it seemed as if she was right there with me; lying gently beside me, putting me close to her bosom. Her sense of love radiated through my brain; she is the most lovable person I’ve ever seen. Her knack of total completeness swept me off; she was too perfect a woman.
She’d been on her sick bed for months before resting from all the works of her lifetime. I never thought she’d die and so I left her with a kiss and continued my life as a life-liver. The next time I saw her, I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve never cried like that before; not in front of almost the whole world. My tears were shameless; they dropped like rain from the skies. It seemed it’ll never stop. Now my heart weeps everyday to her memories.
It’s been over two years since her departure and here I am, talking to her as though she was here with me. I had thought I would find my life after her demise; believe me, she’s always been part of my everyday life ever since.
There’s not a day I do not think about her. She’s too good to be forgotten, especially if no one is fit to take up her place.
As I drifted into a sleep I virtually wanted to lead me into eternity where I could see and talk to her, I said one last word.
“Mama, I miss you.”