​New Year Day Ambitions

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What do you want to do on new year day? How do you intend to spend it? In which way do you want it to end? Just that day.

Hmm. I wish I can dive into more details on how to spend my new year day. But believe me, what I’m doing on this day is very satisfying to me, and so, I care less about what others think of it. Anyways, I still have to tell you what I did to bring out the best in my new year day.

‘What did you do?’ You’d have asked.
‘I simply studied how people around me spend their new year day.’ I’d have answered.

Well, let’s start with the first person that inspired the post. The guy approached me and said he’d like me to share him some bf. Really. Is this guy drunk? ‘What for?’ I asked him. He said he just needs new bf for the night. That was more or less craziness. smh. I felt like just slapping senses into his head, but I had to keep my chills because he begged me a few hours before then not to beat my sister for misbehaving because it won’t be a good thing to start the new year with beatings and pains. But really, he asked me in front of some other street guys. I think you should understand my feeling by now. And if you don’t, try rubbing Akara on ten 1,000 Naira notes and leave them alone in a ‘rat-governed’ house for about 1 hour. You will over-understand.

I thought that is the weirdest thing anyone around me should do on a new year day until another stupid guy walked up to me and said, ‘Mickie, my girls fucked me up. Abeg, I fit borrow any girl from your side over the night. I gas do one serious overnight with any babe tonight.’ My mouth and eyes were just as wide as you can imagine. After a while, I closed my mouth, reduced the wideness of my eyes and told him to wait for me while I go fetch the ladies.

I actually assumed the guy should be at least sensible enough to know that I wasn’t really going for any fetch. I was shocked to see him walk up to me again, asking for the girls I went to call. At that instant, I wish I had bought a pistol I rejected while I had the chance a long time ago. The guy would have been dead by now. Thank God he was still as sensible enough to recognize what a bad eye look means. And that’s how I got rid of that one.

A funny scenario occurred when I ran to a Muslim’s barbing salon to cut my hair before going for the crossover service and the barber was like, ‘You have to wait for me. Maybe, when am back from church, I’ll consider cutting the hair.’ I was like wow! What is a Muslim looking for in a church’s crossover service? Please tell me? The woman next to me couldn’t believe her ears; she had to ask him again if he was really going to church. I watched him entered the church, even though he’s almost drunk to stupor.

After midnight, everyone congratulated themselves for the new year, and as usual, my church overseer decided to talk to us about holding on to the Lord for the new year. He advised the youth against involving themselves in worldly behaviors. He spoke of bad new year’s day ambitions such as getting drunk on alcohol, fornicating, fighting, killing, and so on. He also gave good ambitions to emulate like waiting on the Lord, seriously asking Him for what you want for the year, thinking deeply about how one wants the year to be, laying good future plans ahead for one’s self, and the likes. Everyone in church was as attentive as a slave whose penis is tied to a pole and hands bounded with chains. I thought, it’s good we’re all listening to follow. Hmm.

Immediately after the Grace, the bad-turn-good guys because of church, turned bad again. One of them was already with a drink just after a step out of the church. smh. Another was smoking marijuana already. It felt disgusting. Were they with all these things even in the church? Even so, why is it that hard for the word to change them? God! They were so attentive. It’s the pastor I pitied the most, it was as if he talked to them in vain. In short, they’re spending their new year day smoking and drinking.

I’d thought I’ll never find anyone around me spending the new year day in a good way. I gave up on all of them, but decided to continue my study to find a new bad way to do it. I ended up finding a good one anyway. A fine Alhaji whose new house is adjacent my house is launching the house opening today – on new year day. Everyone around was happy because of the abundant availability of food. They’re not thinking about launching their own house anytime soon. Different young guys gathered round him at a point listening to what he’s saying; made me realized people listens when the rich talks; even if he says a dry joke, they will all still laugh to it. Anyways, I’m happy I had someone celebrating the new year day in a good way.

I wish I can continue talking about the ones sleeping through this day, or the ones eating all day. Maybe the ones staying in church all day or the ones walking aimlessly through the day. I’m sure there will be the ones using the day to make best and/or worst new friends, while some are flirting with it. There are ones having sex all day, irrespective of their marital status, while some will just smoke and drink all day. I won’t forget the ones that will watch movies throughout the day and the ones cooking all through.

Wonder what I’m even doing through the day? I think it’s interesting to keep observing, so I’ll stick to it.

What are you doing all day on the new year day?

What are your new year day ambitions?


Still yours forever.
One Micaiah


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