Uncommon Thieves

“Shut up all of you!!!” Agba screamed at the top of his lungs. He looked frustrated at the way his little gang of thieves is behaving. They had finished the bank operation they had come for nearly two hours now, but they are yet to leave the bank because Tolu had suggested he receive his … More Uncommon Thieves

The Chronicles

ReallyJohn is a versatile Christian Hip Hop artiste, song writter and actor who has carved a niche for himself with his outstanding delivery and awesome vocals. He started off as a secular artiste in 2011 but switched to gospel in 2014 and released his first gospel song titled “Till I Drop” which made waves. ReallyJohn … More The Chronicles

Smart not Smart

“ARTS LUMINARY CONVOCATION” is a program that is organized to honour  stage personnels in Lagos in appreciation of their immense contribution and tireless efforts to the growth of theatre market in Lagos. Right about now, we’ve planned to do a command performance for all stage actors, directors and artistes in Lagos. This Performance is a … More Smart not Smart

Fallen Out of Life

How am I supposed to beg a taxi man lifting me from the island to the mainland? I can’t imagine. I prayed he doesn’t have a gun or knife. I have a grave phobia for those two weapons of life destruction. Why didn’t he negotiate price with me too? He must have been deceived by the way I’m dressed. I pity him so much, but I pity myself more.

“Oga,” I wanted to start pleading in advance before I finally meet my doom. I thought, at least, if I’d die today, I should probably die with the hope that I reconciled with the man before so. Even if it’s not enough to make heaven, I could be in the middle of the road where I hope God will send me back to come and complete my life ambition on earth.

“Stop at the next turning. Number 69,” Something else occurred to me. I can’t risk being killed and God not sending me back, so, I’m stopping at house 69 in order to pass the backyard to my own street which is about 7 streets away. “I need to pick something up.” I completed my trick.

“No problem sir,” The taxi man said happily.

“How much did you call my money?” I like asheju sha.

“Five thousand naira sir” He smiled into his car rear mirror.

“I’m giving you four five.” I said seriously.

“No wahala oga.” He looked happy.

He stopped his car in front of house 69, and I walked out reassuring him with the hope of coming back with something for him at least. The kind of confidence I walked with was a trustworthy one. No doubt will ever creep into his mind.

The moment I stepped into the backyard of the house, I picked a certain race no one else could pace, and before anyone could think of something else, I was in front of my house panting like a dog who just escaped murder.

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I Hate You 

I hung the call. That’s just too cliché for my hearing before my sweet bedtime, so I thought. But I couldn’t sleep. Not a sting of sleep came afterwards. My mind wandered on useless thoughts about us throughout the night, and by the time I found sleep, it was too late, yet I slept anyway.

I must have read the text for more than a million times already since I last spoke to him; the text I thought would never matter to my life two days ago. The number of tears I had shed since then also would have been enough to mould at least three clay huts in my village if I had been collecting them. Thank God I live alone, it would have been worse because of the sort of consolation I’d have gotten from my former roommate.

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Why Else Would I Want to Toast You?

Hence, WHY ELSE WOULD I WANT TO TOAST YOU, IF I DON’T FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX WITH YOU?

“Now don’t get me wrong.”  I said to her. “I’m not saying every guy wants to have sex with every girl he meets.”  I continued. Hell no. But for real, I do not think any guy would approach any girl he can’t have sex with – unless I’m evangelizing sha. … More Why Else Would I Want to Toast You?